Lost
by artemis lecter
Summary: Takes place after the chapter 'Snape's Worst Memory'. A few weeks later, Snape decides to try to talk to LIly about what happened and overhears something. Oneshot, Very short.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing, JK Rowling owns all. Thank you so much for rubbing it in.**

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Snape walked toward the library, willing himself not to turn back and flee down to the Slytherin common room like a silly little Hufflepuff. He was braver than that. _Don't be such a chicken_, he chastised himself. It wasn't that hard to just walk in there and talk to her.

He had known for weeks that he would have to talk to her and sort things out; after calling her 'Mudlblood' Lily had not said a word to him. She really was prepared to walk out of his life and just leave him alone. Unfortunately, he really was helpless without her, although he hated to admit it. He had never thought that he would become dependant upon someone else; he had always been under the impression that he was a loner, didn't need friends or family or anything but his studies and his desire to become someone powerful that people would fear. Lily had changed that at age ten, without even knowing it.

He headed into the Potions section of the library, knowing full well that she had an essay to finish for Slughorn in the next couple of days and she was determined to get an 'O' on it. He could see her through the stacks of books, and taking a breath he trudged forward to meet her—stopping suddenly when he heard her speak.

"No, I will most certainly NOT forgive you, Potter!" Lily seemed to be trying to shout and whisper simultaneously. Snape scowled when he realized that Lily was not the only one on the other side of the books. _How dare he try to speak to her._

"Lily, come on now, it was just a little joke! Completely harmless." James Potter's voice had a hint of panic in it, as though he was desperate to convince Lily to believe him.

"Harmless? _Harmless?_ You think humiliating him in front of the entire bloody class is _harmless_?!"

Snape realized what they were discussing, and a part of him was even more humiliated that Lily felt the need to defend him; on the other hand, his heart swelled when he realized that she _must _still care about him, even if only a little bit.

Potter's voice became more soothing. "I'll never do it again, I swear, Lily. Please forgive me."_ Damn him! Damn him for charming her!_

"Why do you hate him so much, James?" Snape noted that it was the first time he had ever heard Lily call him 'James' instead of 'Potter', and his blood began to boil.

Potter was silent for a moment, and when he spoke, it was timidly, as though his heart were made of glass and he knew that she held the power to shatter it to pieces.

"Because he fancies you."

Snape heard Lily's sharp intake of breathe, and he hung his head slightly. He would never hear the end of this, and as far as he could see his chances with her were gone.

Lily took a few very long seconds to compose herself, before asking James coolly, "And why should you care?"

Again, James took a moment to choose his words carefully, and when they came, they burned Snape's ears.

"Because I love you, Lily."

Lily gasped, and through the books Snape could see perfect James Potter eying her apprehensively, nervous as to when she would say to him now.

_Tell him you hate him, Lily, tell him to go away and leave you alone . . ._

"I love you too, James."

_NO!_

Snape turned and fled down the hall, hardly caring about the fact that Lily probably heard him flee, that she knew that he heard everything and she now knew how incredibly pathetic he was. He could feel his heart breaking as he ran as fast as he could down the halls of Hogwarts. Potter had beaten him, had gotten the girl that Snape had been in love with for almost six years. She despised him now, as well, all because he was too stubborn to accept the fact that he needed her. It had been so embarrassing to know that she had seen his humiliation, so he pushed her away . . . and now he had lost her forever.

He was in his dormitory now, and luckily for him it was still early enough that there was no one in the room except for himself. He flopped down onto his bed and let the tears come, sobbing uncontrollably for a good ten minutes before he could calm down. His breathing was unsteady and he felt as though he had cracked a rib. His chest was in agony.

There was nothing he could do now . . . his life as he knew it was over, all because if his stubbornness and selfishness. He would never forgive himself for this one.

"Lily," he whispered softly, as tears overtook him once more.

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**A/N: I don't think I've ever written anything that dramatic :D Just wouldn't get out of my head hehe. Anyway, thank you for reading, now please review!! Even if it's just to tell me that I suck :P**


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